Animated Atrocities 41/Original Review Transcript
The "Animated Atrocities 40" opening. Mr. Enter: (From that video) Now, when SpongeBob does something so horrendous, they tend to do it only once... to: "Pet Sitter Pat" title card. Mr. Enter: ... well, needless to say, I was wrong! Dead fucking wrong! I was originally going to review "Little Yellow Book" this week, because it proves that the writers have found a way to make Squidward unlikable, even after everything you guys saw last week. I will get to it eventually, but just like with "Spongebob, You're Fired" I found something so heinous that I needed to kill it as soon as possible. Actually, I wanted to review it right away because I don't ever want to watch this episode again. Over the past week, I've been trying to figure out how many atrocities that SpongeBob has. If you're wondering, we're currently up to 118. I have recently marathoned the entirety of season eight, and I found something that I didn't thought exist. I thought that it couldn't exist. Let me put this as bluntly as possible: at it's core, "Pet Sitter Pat" is a shitty ripoff of "A Pal For Gary". No joke! It even has the exact same team of quote, unquote writers. Hell, we just might wanna call it a shitty remake of "A Pal For Gary" the most hated and infamous episode of the whole show. What are we waiting for? Let's get started! This episode starts off with Spongebob getting a letter inviting him to his grandma's birthday party. He's excited to go, but ends up tripping over Gary. Then he remembers that someone needs to watch him! Since he's going to be gone for an entire day, it is more believable than his paranoia from "A Pal for Gary", and that probably refers to exactly what pisses me off about this episode. It seems like the writers wanted to improve "A Pal for Gary", but completely missed what the fuck the problem was! So, Spongebob is incredibly believable in this episode. But I'm getting ahead of myself. of "Smooth Jazz in Bikini Bottom" Believe it or not, this episode is a "Patrick's a Prick" episode! And the absolute worst of that category. You thought he was bad in "Smooth Jazz in Bikini Bottom"? You haven't seen nothing yet. SpongeBob comes to Patrick and finds him mumbling to his reflection, because he thinks it's a real person... whatever. Then Spongebob asks Patrick to take care of Gary. Patrick: Are you going off the grid? SpongeBob: What? Patrick: Don't worry, I know what I do. Mr. Enter: Why would you assume that? SpongeBob: ...and I'm trusting my best pal to watch carefully over Gary when I'm gone. Mr. Enter: And then he drops Gary on the ground. Yeah, you probably already see where this is going. Spongebob gives Patrick a list of things he has to do in order to take care of Gary, but Patrick is more interested in eating SpongeBob's food. So Spongebob leaves saying that he will be back by 10:00. SpongeBob: ...then you- Patrick: SpongeBob SpongeBob! up to SpongeBob Don't you trust me? I am the most responsible guy you know! Mr. Enter: of "Stuck in the Wringer" Bite me! Spongebob leaves and Patrick tries to read the list. Unfortunately, he holds it upside down, thinks that Spongebob has terrible handwriting and throws it away. He then offers to take Gary for a walk, but indigestion catches up with him and he rushes to the bathroom. And then he ends up staying there until late at night. When he gets out, Gary is obviously weak and hungry. Patrick tears open the food bag and eats the entire thing right in front of Gary. to the episode's opening credits. Did I tell you how much I despise these writers' guts? For himself. '' Then Patrick goes looking for more food while we cut to Spongebob at his grandmother's. It seems she made him a special gelatin snail, prompting him to be worried about Gary. He uses the phone and Patrick says that Gary is absolutely fine. ''of "A Pal for Gary" Guys, just because I can believe Spongebob's ignorance and concern does NOT '''mean this episode is better. It's actually '''WORSE!!! Because you used this as an excuse to make Gary's treatment more cruel! You don't fucking believe me!? When Spongebob tells Patrick to give Gary a bath, things get really fucking bad! Patrick holds Gary underneath his smelly pits, claiming that Gary smells bad. And then he turns on the sink. The he fills the sink with snail food. Patrick: Gotta get the water to stay in there somehow. Mr. Enter: 'I am ''this close to snapping right now; 'this ''fucking close! Patrick: 'Gary trying to eat the snail food ''Now, Gary, we don't eat the bath. We get in the bath. ''to black. "That's it" scroll up on the screen. Cut to the episode's opening credits.'' '''Mr. Enter: You guys know that I absolutely hate these writers. I despise their guts. Want them blacklisted. of "Stuck in the Wringer" Zeus Cervas is clearly some kind of sadistic asshole that lives in a world of insane troll logic; of "Choir Boys" Richard Pursel is just a plain sadist; to Casey Alexander's Twitter feed. Caption: What he has to say about "A Pal For Gary" and Casey Alexander is a complete idiot. Casey, you're a fucking moron. Back to the episode, where Gary's food has dissolved. He attacks Patrick and runs off. I'm not entirely sure, but I kinda think we're supposed to see Patrick as the protagonist. Spongebob calls up again... Patrick: Okay Spongebob, I get it, I get it! flings the phone out the window '' '''Mr. Enter: '''Please, hit him with something! ''flings back into the house and hits Patrick in the back of the head Mr. Enter: '''Thank you. Patrick ends up in a bathtub himself, and ends up breaking the showerhead. Then he almost tells Gary that it's time for his bath. '''Patrick: Wait a minute, Patrick! You gotta trick the snail! to himself using both hands You gotta be smarterer than him! Mr. Enter: What exactly did you have in mind? Patrick: up to Gary Hey, buddy! I got something cool to show you. Mr. Enter: Um, Patrick? What is that? Patrick: And it's the opposite of a wet watery bath. on a welding mask Mr. Enter: What do you mean by that? Patrick: Check it out! a flamethrower to burn down SpongeBob's bed Gary: worried Meow! Mr. Enter: JESUS FUCKING CHRIST! Is this is supposed to be funny? No, no, no, they cannot be that stupid. The only other reason I can think of Patrick having a fucking flamethrower is that they're trying to show how dangerous he is to Gary, which they already fucking did! Patrick: Doesn't that look fun? Gary: worried'' ''high-pitched Meow! out of SpongeBob's bedroom Mr. Enter:'' ''I-I have nothing. I have literally nothing to say to that. Look, this goes beyond stupidity. I've said in the past that you made a character too stupid when they're doing something that could not conceivably have a positive outcome, but they're way past the point of no return with Patrick. This character is a monster. A literal monster. Yeah, pretty much exactly like Puffy Fluffy. This thing needs to be locked up before he can cause any more pain and suffering. His charming stupidity from the early seasons has morphed into the most hated character on the show for me. More than Spongebob, more than Karen, and even more than Mr. "Drive-You-To-Suicide" Krabs. Patrick: Well, make up your mind! Is it water or fire? on the fire blaster for a couple seconds Mr. Enter: '''Lock him up? No, this thing needs to be killed before he can cause anyone any harm ever again. He chases Gary down with a hose and bathes Gary on the spot. Gary's sounds of agony make it sound like he's in very real pain. '''Patrick: That wasn't so bad, now was it? Mr. Enter: You chased him down with a fucking flamethrower, you braindead burden to everyone around you! And a can of food falls on Gary because our writers think that pure pain is funny. Patrick: up to Gary Oh, now we gotta dry you off. Unfortunately, I couldn't find any salt. Mr. Enter: That kills snails, you fuck! '''I know that that's the '''fucking joke, but I don't care. It's obviously not fucking funny. Incompetence, almost killing someone's pet repeatedly is not fucking funny! So Patrick uses a hair dryer that hardens Gary. Yeah, as bad as "A Pal for Gary" is, Gary makes it through relatively unscathed, the nightmares notwithstanding. He's in constant pain in this episode. And the camera just keeps holding on what Patrick just did to the poor guy. And because Patrick left all the waters running, the house begins to flood. This eventually gets Patrick to wake up. Patrick: up and sees Gary moving on water after coming back up from under it Sheesh, Gary! Well, if you wanted another bath, why didn't you just ask? Mr. Enter: You know, I don't normally do this, but that line was so infuriating that we need to take a break. I've already shown you Casey Alexander's Twitter feed. But let's go back to that and have ourselves a little laugh. It was filled with so many little nuggets of information. Like this one! Or this one referring to "One Coarse Meal"! Or this one! So Casey Alexander is currently a storyboard supervisor on Uncle Grandpa. Note to self: do an Animated Atrocity review on Uncle Grandpa in the very near future. As for now, Casey, this is to you: arrogance and stupidity are the worst traits to have together. John Enter, come at me bro! Now back to this atrocity that you have roughly one third part in, and don't understand why it was wrong. We cut to Spongebob giving his grandmother a cake with a ton of candles. This makes Spongebob imagine that his own house is on fire. And he uses the phone again. Patrick answers it, and when they go under a water stream, Spongebob finally figures out that something is wrong. He hurriedly ends his grandmother's party and rushes home. He opens the door to find his house destroyed. And then he finds Gary okay and reading a bedtime story to Patrick. Yeah there's no explanation to why Gary would want anything to do with Patrick after he chased him down with a FUCKING FLAMETHROWER!!! Normally pets wouldn't want anything to do with you if you forgot to feed them, which Patrick also did. But Patrick went above and beyond. Yeah, you know my saying: What I'm doing is wrong, I know it's wrong, but I'm gonna do it anyway. After "A Pal for Gary"'s universal scorn, the writers had to know that it was a terrible episode. There are only 2 real options: They either didn't know or they didn't fucking care. And after going through Casey Alexander's Twitter, I'm going with the latter option. If you're wondering why I'm taking this shit so seriously, it's because that I have a faint hope that I might be loud and abrasive enough to crack through their thick skulls and help them actually find a clue. But the more I watch, the more I realize that's never going to happen. These people are detached from reality. This episode shows that they have no comprehension of writing. This tells me that they thought that the only problem with "A Pal for Gary" was Spongebob's obliviousness. Y'know, not the sadistic cruelty that lasted throughout the entire episode, not the broken plot that took out of nowhere twists, not how horribly unfunny it was. I love it how Casey Alexander talks like he's a big-shot with mountains of skill and experience, when all's he's ever done is Spongebob from season 4 onward, and Uncle Grandpa. Casey, you're not an artist. I know we live in the self-esteem generation, but you're not an artist. You don't make art! You make crap! You have always made crap! The few miracles that just so happen to have your name in the credits don't change that! You have no talent, stop acting like you do, and maybe have have the slightest inkling of respect for you. Category:Transcripts